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Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
Do not tell people you "know" the judge, the DA, or the court officer.
The internet did not go to law school.
Driving 5 mph slower than the car driving 100 mph doesn't mean you weren't speeding.
In the future, please say "I object!" rather than "That's total bulls**t!"
“She was under the mistletoe” is a poor defense to adultery. Blame the booze for goodness sakes.