By now, just about everyone knows the Hallmark channel represents the place to turn to for holiday magic. If you’re going through a divorce, there’s something you already know. The season brings its share of stress. In some cases, more than you can handle.
You may recall the days gone by – even dating back to your own childhood. It doesn’t matter what religious rituals matter to you and your family. It’s a time of prayer, a celebration of lights – or visits with a white bearded man bringing gifts.
For you and yours, it may be the first time you’re apart. If infidelity surfaced as one of your issues, you’re likely either feeling guilty or jealous. Both represent reasonable attitudes when it comes to these types of situations.
Studies show that divorce around the holidays absolutely impacts children. In an ideal case, everyone thinks about sitting by the fireplace and gathering at family dinners.
Of course, your history might suggest that fighting is more the norm than anything else. And, who in the world wants to look back at bad memories centered around would be celebrations?
Suggestions for Capturing Holiday Magic for Your Family, Even After a Divorce
Believe it or not, some experts opine that the holidays are actually the impetus for some divorces. You know the old story about couples who stay together for the sake of the children. It may have a familiar ring. Then, on with the new year, and the meeting with the divorce attorney.
While there’s no set formula that works for every family seeking to keep peace, here are some suggestions:
- If you have a court order in place as far as dividing the holidays with your children, abide by it. You don’t want to be found in contempt of court.
- Resist the temptation to outdo your spouse by buying the best gifts. In the long run, your kids benefit more from joy rather than materialism. You also want to beware of alienating your children’s affections.
- Don’t think that alcohol or other substances will cure your holiday doldrums.
- Be flexible and willing to compromise. Remember your children benefit most by the more people who love them.
- Don’t use the holidays as a time to hold off on support payments. Not only will you be found in contempt, but you’re denying financial security to someone who needs it to make the holidays special.
- Reach out to family and friends and find a place where you can enjoy the happiness of the season. Otherwise, you’ll suffer a streak of loneliness that will add to your sadness.
- Traditions start new when people divorce. Create them for you and yours.
While these are just some basic ideas that can help you capture holiday magic, you may need legal assistance. Nothing stops your former spouse from opposing your good intentions.
MHPS understands holiday stress. We can help you make it through this difficult time. Contact us for assistance.